Gerlinde Kirbs Obituary (1937 - 2025) - Indian Trail, North Carolina

It is with sorrow we announce the death of our mother and Omi, Gerlinde Kirbs, in Wesley Chapel, NC on Saturday, February 8, 2025, after an ongoing battle with kidney and heart failure. Our sadness over the loss of this beautiful and vibrant woman is mixed with rejoicing because we know that Gerlinde’s Savior, Jesus Christ, has given her new life, completely healed and whole, in his eternal kingdom. Gerlinde passed away peacefully at home. She is survived by daughters Gabriella Palermo and Ramona (Ron) Pedemonte, grandchildren Matthew and Michael (Molly) Pedemonte with great-grandson Ward, whom she loved dearly; and in Kaiserslautern, Germany by sister Brigitte (Karl-Heinz) Oettler, bother-in-law Erwin Weidler, two nieces and three nephews along with their spouses and children. She was predeceased in 2021 by her partner of 33 years, Jerry Barton, with whom she shared step-daughter Michele Persiani (Louis), grandchildren Mario, Stephanie, and Rosalie (Dan) with great-granddaughter Cordelia who always put a huge smile on Omi’s face; Ed Clark (Dawn) and numerous related family members. She is also predeceased by her parents and sisters Esther Day and Uta Weidler, of Kaiserlautern, and son-in-law Larry Palermo. Gerlinde moved to the United States in 1961 and lived most of her adult life in the New Haven, CT area. Gerlinde was born on September 12, 1937 in Kaiserslautern, Rhineland Palatinate, Germany, the second daughter of Wilhelm and Helene Pelloth. WWII began days before her second birthday and ended days before her 8th birthday. Kaiserslautern was heavily bombed, so her early childhood years were marked by air sirens, bomb shelters, interrupted school years, trips to her grandparent’s farm in the small outlying town of Katzweiler, nourishment camps, clothing and shoes found in airdropped care packages, etc. But her family all made it through unharmed and Gerlinde grew to have a fun and active youth. She was one of four girls in a tight-knit and happy family. Along with her sister Brigitte, she played on a local handball team and belonged to a municipal youth group, the circle of friends with whom she congregated, hiked, biked, and danced. One of Gerlinde’s favorite memories was a biking and camping trip through the Alps, the source of many adventures including a terrible rainstorm during which she tried to rescue everyone’s things. As a young woman in Germany, her studied trade was "Verkaüferin," Saleswoman. She did inventory for small shops and became the store manager for a small grocery store. She also remained socially active in the youth group. She and a friend decided to try the “dating app” of the 1950’s and answered pen pal ads in the newspaper. After they grew tired of relatively local men actually wanting to meet them, they both decided to write to German men overseas because, “What’s the harm? We are never going to move away from Germany.” However, both were swept off their feet and Gerlinde ended up married in Hamden, CT in 1961, and her friend near Toronto, Canada. Gerlinde visited Germany many times throughout the years, the last time for Brigitte’s 80th birthday in November 2019. Despite some happy times and two daughters she loved, the move to CT led to a difficult marriage. However, Gerlinde endured and made the best of it until her divorce in 1985, after which she lived independently for the first time in her life. In New Haven, she worked for 35+ years at Hummel Bros, at first in the storefront and then to accommodate motherhood, packing hot dogs on the assembly line, which she did until her retirement. If there was one quality or term that could sum up Gerlinde, it is resilience; she “made the best of it”. She was a peacemaker, she loved deeply, she taught her daughters to stay strong and encouraged them in everything; she made the best of things even in hard times. As she faced multiple health problems and surgeries (she was a proud breast cancer survivor), she “made the best of it” and you would never know because she remained active, bowling into her 86th year (with a 125 average, down from 155!), and driving and shopping independently into her 87th. She was tough, and was determined to have a “few more good years.” Once she made her mind up to enter Hospice, though, she was just as determined to go out on her own terms. Gerlinde did go on to experience a loving and happy relationship for 33 years with her partner Jerry, who adored her. In fact, the thing Gerlinde loved most about him is how much he loved her! He couldn’t believe he landed her, and they were devoted to each other through the ups and downs of life. Together they enjoyed bowling and motorcycling (on a two-person bike, including trips with the Christian Motorcyclist Association of New Haven). They often attended Americade in New Hampshire. They were members of the Haru Gari German Club in West Haven, where they joined the German folk-dancing group and traveled to perform at many events and clubs. They also enjoyed many German cultural celebrations and dinners. They liked to travel. Family time with Gaby, and with Michele and her family, whom Gerlinde considered grandchildren, was important to them (especially the elaborate birthday parties and football viewing), as well as gatherings with their friends, and trips to NC to visit Ramona and her family. They attended Gerlinde’s home church, Christ Evangelical Lutheran Church, in Hamden. The Samaritan’s Purse Operation Christmas Child program was particularly important to them; they began the program at their church and were proud when over 70-80 Christmas shoe boxes were collected for several years. Other charitable efforts included the West Haven Breast Cancer Awareness annual fundraisers, including “The Plunge” in the winter and “the Walk” in May, along with several motorcycle toy and fund drives. They loved to watch all kinds of sports on TV, including football (Jerry was a staunch Raiders fan but Gerlinde switched allegiance from the Patriots to the Panthers when Ramona’s family moved to NC). They enjoyed watching Nascar, bowling, golfing and more. The routine they rarely missed was watching Jeopardy and “the Wheel.” Gerlinde was a devoted UConn Women’s basketball fan and watched all the games she could. As a matter of fact, during a recent hospital admission in Charlotte, NC, we had two computers set up on her bedside table: one playing the UConn women’s game, one showing the UConn men’s game, and the Panthers game on the hospital room TV. Also, she was the only person to ever have a supply of shrimp cocktail in the cardiac floor fridge. She enjoyed her seafood, especially shrimp! Thankfully she also got to enjoy one last lobster at home on Christmas Eve, 2024. Gerlinde had moved to NC in May 2023 and set up residence in her new apartment, attached to Ron and Ramona’s house. It was a concession, a long-held-off plan, because she loved her life in CT, but we still had a wonderful last 21 months with each other, her grandchildren, and Ron’s parents next door, along with visits from Gaby, Michele and Louis. Especially important was the time spent with her great grandson, whose name she pronounced with a heavy German accent, “Varrrd.” He adored her and she him. She was delighted to attend Spirit of Joy Lutheran Church about a mile from the house, and loved Pastor Ed, especially his many visits to the hospital and at home. Gerlinde will be remembered by family and friends for her warmth, her love and caring, her forthrightness (she could be blunt!) and maybe most of all, by the many letters, cards and notes she wrote to all of us, containing updates, photos, news, encouragement, advice, empathy, occasional correction, and so on. It was her favorite hobby. Many of us have a special box full of Gerlinde’s letters, which will help us hold her dear in our hearts for the rest of our lives. Celebration of Life to be held in CT at the HaruGari German Club, Saturday, March 8, 2025 at 2:00pm. To honor the life of Gerlinde, donations can be made to her two favorite charities: The West Haven Breast Cancer Awareness Program; make checks payable to the above and send to: West Haven Breast Cancer Awareness Program c/o Beth Sabo Department of Health 355 Main St. West Haven, CT, 06516 or donate online to: Samaritan's Purse Operation Christmas Child at https://fundraise.samaritanspurse.org/fundraiser/6093579